Jun 27, 2007
I'm currently doing the copy for this major web rehash by one of the large local banks, and as I say in today's meeting, the project manager revealed one of life's beautiful secrets.
"Under-commit and over-deliver."
The skies never parted. There were no glorious choirs of angels, no bright lights. There wasn't even coffee. But there it was, laid bare in front of me like a virgin on my bed.
"Under-commit and over-deliver."
I rolled the words around my tongue. They tasted marvelous.
If I ever get the chance to teach business (that, of course, assumes that I learn the lessons of business myself) this will be the first lesson I would teach my wards.
"Under-commit and over-deliver."
The words were too compelling; I immediately launched a review of my own life vis-a-vis this new-found wisdom. My problem, you see, is that my own practice has reflected the exact inverse of this philosophy. Because of my natural zeal, I always find myself over-committing when I take on new projects. I can't help it; I'm a natural optimist and my greatest hubris is enthusiasm. The prospect of succeeding at a new challenge excites me and thrills me to the bone. My ego revels at the thought of taking on a project and making a shining, shimmering, splendid something out of the tangle of problems and pitfalls. So in my eagerness, I over-commit!
But then something happens during the course of the undertaking. I lose steam. The tangle of issues, difficulties, and dead-ends somehow diffuse the spark that set me going at the beginning. The mirage of a successful finish dissolves into the reality of a long, dreary journey. I lose steam. And when my energy level dips, my universe usually goes downhill. So does the quality of my work. I under-deliver.
Over-commit and under-deliver. What a truly powerful recipe for disaster.
Well, it's never too late to change course. At least I'm aware of it, and that's where it begins.
Posted at 04:51 pm by kowtz
Living By Design or Losing By Default
Being the CEO of a company means you have to have control over everything. Everything. Being the CEO of your own life requires pretty much the same thing. That's where my problems begin. I've grown old wielding the philosophy that I only need to keep my focus on a handful of things. This is what keeps my life simple: I don't sweat the little stuff. And for the most part this has worked for me. I mean, I'm here, aren't I? Still alive, still kicking.
But I'm nowhere close to where I want to be, to where I know I can be. And that's precisely because I don't sweat the small stuff.
Some years back, I read somewhere that a good program operates by design, and not by default. Extending this wonderful bit of wisdom, a good programmer, then, attends to the design of his program, and does not rely on the defaults set by the environment.
We, as programmers of our own individual lives, and as coders of our own successes, would do well to keep this in mind. In many instances, I have swept aside the small stuff, smug in my belief that the universe will always take care of the loose ends for me. Is it any wonder, then, that many of my undertakings have somehow fallen short of expectations? Why am I surprised to feel as if I'm trying to climb out of a hole I'm sinking deeper and deeper into when I take on a project?
Now I know why. Or at least I know what a big part of the reason is: I've relied on the default, rather than impose my design...
Posted at 04:47 pm by kowtz
Jun 26, 2007
Venus and Mars... The Exploding Planets...
Hi. I’m Gerome, and this is my story on how I realized why women think, they tend to get hurt more than men.
It was just like any Monday morning, hectic, frantic, and manic. It’s Monday for god’s sake, as my idol "Garfield" (yeah the orange cat) would say, I’m beginning to hate Mondays more and more.
My minds too idle, the time is soooo slow; just kept passing the time chatting with my friends Arty and Gem. The day was a bum so I decided to make the most out of it. Pulled them out, and asked them to hang out on this place called “King Phillip’s” after work. Not really a fancy place, but I just can’t get over the coziness of the place. I will, if I have not yet, make it my second home. My own little sanctuary if you please.
Apparently the three of us were having the same kind of day, so everyone was a get go, until Arty had to back. I was kind of downhearted a bit, because we usually have this hyped up debates every time all of us get together.
So it was Gem and me, had our SV’s and Chix, and talked about how bad the day was. Then came Wheat, I was surprised, yet expecting him. Haven’t seen him for the longest time, but he seems to have been really busy; lost weight and all, but still good. So if Wheat was here, Carla would surely be following. They like two peas in a pod, like peanut butter and jelly, like… well you get the picture.
Promptly so, Carla came but to my surprise was with Arty. Damn dude blew me off earlier, but decided to go still since Carla was there. Anyhow, I got my revenge, I burnt him every chance I got, and he even took a condiment shot.
Anyway, so here it is, everybody’s gotten their fix of food and alcohol, the game is on. Debate topic: Women get hurt more than men. Damn love that debate. They say that it’s easy for men to move on because generally women get hurt and men don’t. I on the other hand argue that even though we don’t show our emotions, we don’t get hurt. Hours fly by like a flick of the finger. I have gotten almost everyone to agree except Carla. That girl is as stubborn as can be. I know she sees my point but heck, she goes around like: “This is what I see and that is final, men are a-holes and women get hurt”. Reason and logic just can’t get through her thick skull. Even her best friend Wheat agreed with me.
Anyway, we called it quits; I was too tired to argue with a close minded person. Maybe it was the lack of patience, or the alcohol, but I can’t even if I still wanted to. Sad to say, the debate was not settled, round two will be a sight to see. I made it to a point to break her down and feed her mind with my thoughts. But right now I have to re-charge my brain. One word: overheat.
A week after that we went back to King Phillip’s. But this time it was only me, Gem and Carla. Arty had to beg off, broke and tired, and Wheat, well… let’s just say Wheat and Carla are not in good terms as of the moment.
So debates off for now. We can’t settle the whole women get hurt more than men topic. A bit disappointed as I readied myself for round 2. Anyway, so we talked about Wheat and Carla being best friends. Apparently Carla feels she’s being ignored and taken for granted by Wheat. She just got into a severe vehicular accident, and Wheat did not even tried to check if she was OK. Apparently Carla saw Wheat as more than her best friend. But Wheat just took her as a friend. Often time She would be there if he needed her, and he won’t even on the gravest times she did.
Long story short he treated her like crap. The princess born with a silver spoon (Carla) was treated like crap.
Now I understood... I understood why she was so closed minded about the topic women get hurt more than men do. For this is what she is currently feeling. I suddenly felt guilt crawl upon my spine, as I imagine all the sorrows and pains she goes through day in and day out.
So I called it a day, took Gem home, then took Carla home. And as I look at Carla going inside her house, I said to myself, now I understand, but you still don’t. I still say we (men) do get hurt more, it’s just that we don’t show it.
I understand that you are hurting as Wheat is taking you for granted and treating you like crap. But the thing is I am hurting more, as I look and see that happening... yet I don’t make a peep, nor any sound, and prevent myself from bursting of anger, prevent myself from knocking some sense into Wheat; just because I know Carla treats him as her best friend... I may not show the pain, but that doesn’t mean my heart does not bleed.
I hurt more, as I look away and pretend that I don’t know anything, and I don’t even care... Now you tell me, do you still think that women get hurt more than men?
I’m Gerome, and this is my story.
- Wonder Years, Episode 25
Posted at 03:36 pm by kowtz
Mar 6, 2007
God... has been some time since my last entry... should not be blogging right now, coz of tons of papaer work...
But that's the point why I am so mad... freakin ready to explode... I'm here frying my ass to work while other people out there are bummin around...
I know in the long run, I will say to myself, "it's a good thing you did not turn into a bum... just look at you're friend now?"
Still, I can't help but despise this people, that are so lazy to work... I mean, it's not like they are not capable fo working, they have all the tools, they're built like a truck, a college degree, multiple job offers...
what' chewing me up is that these people have the nerve to live off their loved ones (not immediate family/read between the lines) and friends... Amputa, nagpapakahirap ako magtrabaho para may pang-gastos, tapos sila lang mambuburaot?????
I mean, I'm not selfish or anything (OK maybe I am a bit)... but it will come to a point where it's not like sharing anymore, it's becoming more of an obligation...
Man, they better be wiser...
Posted at 03:20 pm by kowtz
Feb 15, 2007
I have prepared for the worst, now I am not hoping for the best...
The clouds seem to darken every day that passes... The Silver lining is constantly thinning... convergent to nothing...
Yet, I had nothing to lose, and everyday, logic piles up reasons, causing me to realize that there was not much to gain...
"Ad astra per aspera... "- To Kill a mocking Bird"
"Ad astra per aspera ad aspera... "just my own..."
Posted at 04:44 pm by kowtz
Feb 14, 2007
To the One that Destiny Has Prepared For Me
I am wondering at this very minute
If you are thinking of me
If like me
You are wondering
What is taking us so long
To find each other
I thought I finally found you
Only to be disillusioned
By the fact
That my wait has not yet ended
I get up each morning hoping
longing to meet you
I am thinking
Of how we will meet
Would it be as romantic
As the ones I have seen in movies
Or is it possible
That I have known you all my life
But we have yet to realize
That we are meant for each other
How I wish you were here right now
Because you are the only one
Who has the answers to all my questions
Sometimes I ask myself
If I have ever really known love
I do not have the answer
To that question
And I believe that I will never know
Until I find you
You just don't know how often I dream
Of finally knowing
What it feels like
To be in your arms
Even at this very moment
I am wondering
How you will simply sweep me off my feet
I will be drawn to you by your smile
By how you manage to make me laugh
By your silly little ways
I do not really know when
But I am praying
That God will help me recognize you
When the right time comes
I think of all the pain
That I have gone through
In the past
And of how much I cried
Since the day I began my search
I just wanted you to know
That I find my strength
In clinging onto a vision
Of a beautiful life
Ahead of me
The life I shall spend with you
In my mind
In my heart
You are worth all that pain and sacrifice
The tears have become a part of my life
And I believe
That they are slowly washing away
So that I would become perfect
I wonder if you have gone through so much pain as well
I wonder if you have been hurt
So many times along the journey
But my dearest one
Please do not give up
Because I am right here
Waiting for you
I assure you
That when we finally find each other
I will slowly heal those wounds
By my love
I would look out my window
And stare at the beautiful sky
Hoping that somewhere
You are also looking up
And wondering about me
I utter a silent prayer
And send all my cries to heaven
Thinking that in time
They would reach you
And when I feel impatient
I just close my eyes
That you are on your way
And that you are longing
To see me as well
And when I finally fall asleep
I still hear your voice
In my deepest dreams
It is the only place
Where I can hold you
To tell you how much
I love you.
In my dreams
You would kiss away my fears
And wrap me with your arms
So all the more
This makes me want to wake up
And face the new day ahead
With a new hope
That you will no longer be a dream
But a reality
I am assured
That you are worth the wait
And when the time comes
Just as I had imagined
Just as I had thought
Just as I had dreamed
Just as I had believed
It would be
I would simply look back
And smile silently
At all that I have gone through
Despite the pain
With the simple joys of life
I would be thankful
Because they all led me to you
Take care of yourself for me
Hold on to our dream
And don't even think of letting go
Believe in your heart that we
That we will find each other
No matter what happens
Destiny saw it
That all the roads we take
No matter which one we choose
Lead to each other
Posted at 08:45 am by kowtz
Feb 11, 2007
The Mystery of Fruit Cakes
You have got to be kidding me if you din't know what a fruit cake is... It is as well known as Old St. Nick... well... maybe not... to the old folks, most probabaly though...
But here's the thing, have you ever heard the joke, that fruit cakes received are recycled and given out as a gift. Hah, you think that's impossible? well think again... originally, fruit cakes are eaten 25 years after they are baked... ;)
The thing is, I often see fruit cakes during X-mas, I mean most probably every home has one, or at least most families have received it... but tio this date, I have yet to find a person who actually ate the fruit cake they received, and actually loved or even liekd eating them...
My point is... well actually i have no point to make, just something that boggled my mind... and of course the paranoia, that fruit cakes are always being baked, and nobody's eating them, maybe one day there will be nothin left to eat but... ugh... "fruit cake"
Happy Yuletide y' all... ;D
Posted at 05:23 pm by kowtz
Left or right, which is it shorty...
Listen up, shonuff you have been where now Im at,
Blisterin feet, hot temper, got monkeys on my back…
The bitches TC, (haha) hilarious when I remember,
They've been itchin to whack me, way since September…
It feels good to have this kind of ethereal power,
Giving them misery, hear my name, they quickly shudder…
This is my purpose in life; this is why I breathe,
To annoy these fuckin TCs, much like a disease…
One of these bitches is constantly island hoppin,
Where does she get the greens, her dad earns 30 k sumthin…
Oh yeah, big old dad works in the cost cutting government,
Maybe that's where they get the cash, graft and embezzlement…
But listen little boys and girls, I was put here for a better reason,
Check the season, Ive been missin the life Ive envisioned…
Watch me, Im in a steep decision, trapped in a junction,
Left, or right; the world is spinning, I have this delusion…
Holler!!! Hold up hold up… take a minute to reflect…
I ain't trippin if suddenly I have lotsa self-respect…
Suddenly, you can watch me smiling, watch me flyin…
Now I got a long list of ice I really need to be buyin…
Everybodys looking for that thing to make them complete,
Something that always makes you smile coz your happy legit…
From dusk till dawn you be seein her face and nothing else…
Unfortunately you aint the groom, when she rings the wedding bells…
Open your eyes in the morning; sip some mocha frap size tall…
Raise your eyebrow, have a little of my caramel Belgian waffle…
My heart is crazy pumpin, she got me twisted up in the game…
I don't know what to do, but without her, I wont be the same…
Damn, Lord please give me the strength to walk another mile…
Coz right now, Im getting it from the person who makes me smile…
But I know this strength will have to come to an end soon…
I just hope I wont be left alone, in the corner with nothing but gloom…
Posted at 05:09 pm by kowtz
Sep 6, 2005
Okay, so this is my first blog for a very long time now. It’s not that I don’t have anything to write, it’s completely the opposite. I have many things to write but I just don’t have enough time do it. So in a quick recap on what I missed to post, despidida and eventual resignation of MC, inuman sa bahay jung saan basag si yogi and vic, event ni papa nick sa bahay ng alumni, gimmick sa dreams, birthday ni brian, UAAP games, wargames, QCS RECON, biglang gimmick to tagaytay, eventual regularization sa EMCI, at madami pang iba…
So why did I just summarize these and not just post it as a single entry? Why did I turn my previous blogs into an archive? Well I’m giving my blog-site a face-lift. I just realized something, blogs are not diaries but they are journals. What’s the difference? You should not put what’s happening in your life alone; that is simply not the focus of blogging.
Blogs are supposed to be an extension of your mind, showing what you feel, what you think, what your opinions are. So from now on I am going to speak out my thoughts through my blog-site. So that I may epitomize what is written in my site: “Read my mind…”
Posted at 02:56 pm by kowtz
Aug 24, 2005
Love for work is diminishing but Love for my baby is ever exploding…
Damn, last Saturday was exhausting for me… actually my blogs for last Saturday has two parts so just read on, I divided the events in two separate entries.
Well last Saturday I was supposed to go to work for a minimum of four hours, but for some god forsaken reason, I suddenly lost the urge to go to work, and decided to stay home and take care of my BABY instead…
My outlook towards work has been this way for some time now… The end of my contract here in Innodata is coming fast, and of course I already have made preparations to shift career paths, although still thinking if I would stay here or fly away like most people… I just lost the thrive to give my best in my company right now, since of course I don’t have any future here, it’s just a project based contract from the start, and even with my predecessors…
Anyway, I decided to pimp my ride a bit, maybe not pimp it out, maybe just make it fly…I decided to change the steering wheel and shift boot cover, would have changed the shift knob, but couldn’t find a knob I liked better than my old one… Anyway changing the steering wheel was a breeze, took me like 30 minutes tops, but that god damn shift boot cover was a pain… I had to take off the lower dash cover, the shift boot cover, the handbrake cover, and even the middle compartment just to change the shift boot cover… I still think it was not worth the labor for just a stupid boot cover… anyway I ended up cleaning the bottom frame of my care, since all the covers were detached anyway… gave my baby a bath, and she took every luster I have left for that day…
Still after the grueling day, I was satisfied that I am responsible for my baby… learned a lot since I graduated and handled the maintenance cost of my BABY… feeling the cash burn away for her makes you drive more carefully, and makes you take better care of what you have… But still even if the aesthetics were not that satisfying, the self-fulfillment hit the spot… the problem was I was hesitant to use her, coz it would dirty her up, and I would hate to give her a bath anytime soon…
Posted at 01:33 pm by kowtz